[ Book ] ☬ Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea ♽ MOBI eBook or Kindle ePUB free

Horrible Chelsea Lately is a great show, and Chelsea Handler a talented comedian But this book is bad A colossal disappointment The whole crass shock value thing wears thin really quickly I might have laughed a couple of times, but not enough to warrant even a second star. Admittedly, I don t usually read books like this, but found Are You There, Vodka It s Me, Chelsea to be an overall entertaining collection The first four essays were, far and away, the best in the collection Until reading this book, I had no familiarity with Handler Totally underwhelming and inconsistently hilarious Admittedly, the parts that were funny really were fantastic However, Chelsea Handler glosses over and re arranges life events in order to align them just so and thusly make whatever anecdote she s recounting work like one of her performance jokes Everything works just a little too well for these to be legitimate essays Rather, the book reads like an ongoing stand up routine withdetail added Overall, it s a good effort Handler isn t the best writer and is occasionally downright dismal , but her stories are generally amusing. Find all of my reviews at DID IT I DID IT I DID A DNF Mind you, it was an audiobook of a physical book I had already read, but hey I had to start somewhere, right So now you might be wondering how in the eff am I managing to 1 Star something I 4 Starred in the past Welllllll, lemme tell yaChelsea Handler has a voice that I want to punch right in the throat I convinced myself I could get past it and the funny would outweigh the fingernails on a chalkboard reaction I have had to her speaking in the past, but it was not meant to be In fact, her delivery makes this book decidedly UNFUNNY even when I knew the material had me literally LOLing the first time around Lesson learned and any future Handler endeavors by me will be strictly via print. Cutting edge, funny sexy stories Having seen Chelsea doing stand up and on Girls Behaving Badly, I was anxious to see how her wicked sarcastic wit would translate into text It s fantastic A seriously gifted writer, who combines funny and raunchy better than any woman.I mean wild, hilarious and uninhibited story telling And it s not just the sheer ridiculous situations she encounters She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, self deprecating cynical manner It s filled with funny anecdotes She just has that trashy comedienne s gift of saying everything we think about but are afraid to say And she manages to share absolutely horrifying situations and somehow make them hysterical There are some hilarious and uncomfortable family situations Her father was quite the provider of wisdom, selling used junkyard cars out of their front yard, while making inappropriate sexual innuendos towards his daughters She shares some really funny embarrassing youth debacles and misadventures, and of course her bizarre sexual encounters with some serious screw ups My favorite of Chelsea s embarrassing re collections her preposterous fake celebrity elementary school tale, a LOL birthday party for a friendless girl full of re gifting, pretending to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class The Mini Me and Prison Break chapters are just classics Frankly if she wasn t successful, she may have ended up a basket case If you are sensitive or quick to take offense, I would pass on this one If you have a repressed wild side, you ll dive in headfirst and relish her antics and live vicariously through them Also, if you like reading funny out of control drinking and sex stories, I m half way through Chelsea s other book My Horizontal Life A Collection of One Night Stands and it s great I also recommend reading the guy s version of this book Wild steamy Penthouse stories, VIP partying, and it s even funnier than Chelsea s stuff High Heels and Dirty Deals Globetrotting Tales of Debauchery from a Binge drinking Nymphomaniac [ Book ] ☽ Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea ⚑ When Chelsea Handler Needs To Get A Few Things Off Her Chest, She Appeals To A Higher Power Vodka You Would Too If You Found Out That Your Boyfriend Was Having An Affair With A Peekapoo Or If You Had To Pretend To Be Honeymooning With Your Father In Order To Upgrade To First Class Welcome To Chelsea S World A Place Where Absurdity Reigns Supreme And A Quick Wit Is The Best Line Of DefenseIn This Hilarious, Deliciously Skewed Collection, Chelsea Mines Her Past For Stories About Her Family, Relationships, And Career That Are At Once Singular And Ridiculous Whether She S Convincing Her Third Grade Class That She Has Been Tapped To Play Goldie Hawn S Daughter In The Sequel To Private Benjamin, Deciding To Be Egalitarian By Dating A Redhead, Or Looking Out For A Foulmouthed, Rum Swilling Little Person Who Looks Just Like Her Only Smaller, Chelsea Has A Knack For Getting Herself Into The Most Outrageous Situations Are You There, Vodka It S Me, Chelsea Showcases The Candor And Irresistible Turns Of Phrase That Have Made Her One Of The Freshest Voices In Comedy Today Ah Chelsea, Hilarious Read this on the plane ride back from atlanta She never disappoints and I m certain i annoyed rows 18 and 20 of Airtran Flight 176, and possibly rows 17 and 21 at certain points in the book with my laughter Would recommend it to anyone This sort of book and the positive outpouring for it make me really feel like I must have missed the boat somewhere in the last couple decades of culture or something Maybe it is that I have never seen Handler s stand up and came to this book expecting something a little bit different Perhaps Handler s shtick is that she is merely making a tongue in cheek imitation of the cliche mean girl that we all know from our high school days But without being let in on the charade, I found connecting with Handler throughout the book to be basically impossible The humor mostly seems to consist of criticizing everyone in her family, her circle of friends, and anyone else she meets in her life most typically in a way that falls a tad short of catty, landing mostly in the realm of bitchy Admittedly, Handler does trot out a few story moments that provoked grins and the occasional laugh However, the pacing and convenience of most stories stretched my credulity well beyond my suspended disbelief typically just making me feel bad for her parents exes waiter friends or whomever that she happened to be interacting with at the moment in the story Its clear that her escapades are wildly fabricated in places where the truth might have beenbanal or required even a fleeting moment of self reflection Further, despite all of the tweaking, many of the stories were pretty boring, just tossing in blunt comments and sailor speak doesn t turn a dull day out into comedic gold I had heard this book likened to some of Sedaris essays, but find that the comparison to be wildly off target Sedaris brings a sort of quiet thoughtfulness to his humor, and is most frequently the target of his own jokes Handler, instead, brings a sort of crass entitlement to her judgments, too good for even those she is telling her story to. Buhwahahaha This woman is easily the funniest woman in the entertainment industry Yes, she s rude and crude, and definitely not for the prude But I just can t help it I love her She brings out the evil maniacal laugh in me, if case you didn t already notice.Since her other book is entitled My Horizontal Life A Collection of One Night Stands , you can be fairly certain this book will also include sexual content as well as a lot of adult language So if those make you uncomfortable, don t read this At least not while others of a prudish nature are around.She does have a deeply dark sense of humor It seems to be all in good fun, though not necessarily good taste I like to believe she s a softie at heart, just with a hard exterior Nevertheless, she s entertaining to say the least.I really recommend listening to the audio book A sheet of paper just cannot capture the brilliance of her wit and sarcasm Her voice can be slightly overwhelming at times, but if your feeling down, her stories will bring you, if nothing else, hilarity What are you going to do tonight, Chelsea Handler Same thing she does every night Try to take over the world The entertainment world at least Evil laugh For those of you lucky enough to afford cable television I resort to the Internet, it s cheaper , her show is just as disturbing and just as funny. 3 stars for me I listened to this on audio and like my GR friend Kelly stated, Chelsea s voice can be a bit much Also, did all of these things truly happen Some of them seem a bit over the top and maybe a bit embellished to make a better story I think calling her dad bitch tits is bad It just sounds stupid to me There were quite a few times when I laughed out loud though I am certainly not opposed to readingof her stories I used to watch her show on tv and I wonder if any of her girlfriends in the book were some of the comics on the show It never stated if any names were changed I also want to look up on You Tube the Girls Behaving Badly show and see if I can watch the scenes with Kimmy Chelsea Handler just might be the most obnoxious, dumb smart person ever Yet this book was hilarious, and I couldn t read it fast enough Sometimes that s all it takes for something to be considered good.